An Ode to You

It’s been a whirlpool of chaos and going back and forth,
It made me learn to appreciate the little things in life.
While I’ve always been a coffee aficianado, it was that cup of tea made by mum that lifted my spirits.
Waiting for that one snap all day long of the beloved cats to annoying the hell out of my sister.
From countless sleepless nights spent overthinking to that one moment between being awake and asleep, when everything is calm and peaceful.
Taking time out and losing myself in the pages of a mindless book.
The satisfaction of scratching things off the multiple to do lists.
Patience. Oh lord, the patience that everyone else has shown while I ranted, raved, and cribbed. I couldn’t be more grateful.
But most importantly, I realised how much power mere words can wield, to completely turn around my day and leave me feeling blissful through the chaos.

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Words.

One word. That’s all it takes to make someone’s day.
One word. That’s also all it takes to bring someone’s world crashing down.

Words, they empower you like no other. There’s a reason people say ‘The pen is mightier than the sword.’
That one word and it can burn a hole through your heart, douse you in love, or bring you tears of joy. And yet sometimes there are no words to express what you have to say, no words that can express exactly how much you mean what you say.

There’s a jumble of words swirling in my head, hazy and broken.
It’s so loud inside but it goes eerily quiet when I have to say them to you.
I wish I could take them back, I wish I could wipe that memory clear off your mind.
Drowning in regret, but alas, I still have no explanation for my actions.
I know you say it’s silly now but that does nothing to ease back my pain and guilt.
I know I’d said I’d drop it but I couldn’t shut my brain from over thinking.
So here’s to you, I have nothing more to offer other than more words:
I don’t know why I said it but I do know that I didn’t mean any of it.
I can’t believe I actually implied you would do what I did,
but I do believe that you’d never do anything that ghastly. Ever.

Just one more word for you.
One word. Five letters. Said with as much meaning as I can put into it.
S.O.R.R.Y.

Love,
Always.