Hello Fear

Every time I close my eyes,

There are these flashes I see.

Flashes then lead the way to an unsettling Fear.

The Fear grips me; body, heart and soul.

And yet, there’s a fixed rigidity

Which won’t let me do what I must to drive away The Fear.

It’s like a bucket full of storm clouds which have taken up a cozy residence in me

Constantly raging war with its thunder and lightning

In a way completely consuming me..

It’s all I can then think of; papers, case studies, reports and submissions.

Not a minute of peace

And yet I’m stuck in this limbo – unable to move forward and unable to take a step back

But life goes on, does it not?

This too shall pass,

And oh how I shall conquer thee, Fear, you just wait and see.

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Sinking nerves

Her heart was thudding against her chest.
Her fingers were icy cold.
Fear had an iron clasp on her heart,
the butterflies had a strong hold.

She tried so hard,
to keep her ship afloat,
But no matter how hard she tried,
A wreck was inevitable.

With every few feet,
The anxiety increased ten fold.
No where to turn, nowhere to run
Her fate was fore-told.

Constance and Change: The Two Friends

You walk into this place, dark and intimidating. The only beam of light falling in is through the open door. You’re uneasy, very uneasy. Frantic butterflies are flittering about in you. You can’t breathe all of a sudden. These walls are closing in and there’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The walls don’t stop, they’re closing in on you. Fear, heavy and hard lodges itself in your chest. There’s nothing you can do to dispel it from you and your heart continues its frenetic pounding. A quick twirl where you’re standing but you still can’t find a way out. The fear has manifested in you so deep, it holds you prisoner in your own mind. This place is new, it is dark and it is intimidating. You desperately want to hold on to that one constant that will keep you sane. You grasp around in the dark to find this constant but your hands come up empty, clutching at nothing but the musty air. Jolts of fear still run through you, but is there ever really a constant? Change, change is the only constant that one can have in their life, a constant that never remains a constant. Your eyes have only just adjusted to the dark but your heart is still running ahead. Things look so bleak through your eyes right now, but you know, that come one day, that heart will calm down and the butterflies will lay dormant again. One day, your mind will break free of its shackles and one day you will see the daylight again. You just have to believe.

Fair Maiden

The bells chimed,
The flowers swayed,
My heart smiled
For I was hand in hand with you.

The sun rose,
The birds chirped.
My eyes shone
For I was lost in you.

The wind roared,
The sea lashed,
My chest moaned
For the pain inflicted by you.

The earth trembled,
The oak burned,
My soul shrieked,
For there was no guilt in you.

The windows rattled,
The doors creaked,
My ghost gleamed,
For she was there to haunt you.