Bottom of the Ocean

She was sinking, sinking deep in the pools of her despair,
She was alone, so alone.
No one to talk to, to laugh with, no one to lean on while tears silently dripped down her cheeks.
Everyone had ‘their person’. Who did she have?

She was taught that sharing is good. But she didn’t want to share anymore. She was so tired, tired of it all. All she wanted was that one person, that one friend, who would, for once in her life, put her first. Let her occupy the top ledge.

She didn’t want the illusion anymore, ’cause everytime reality struck she was toppled off from the top ledge and she went hurtling down and crashed into the hard ocean bed. She was broken. It cost her too much to  bring herself up from this. With iron manacles shackling her down to the ocean floor, she was drowning, drowning in her own pool of misery. Weighing a ton, it was a struggle to the surface every single time.

And yet she learned her lesson not. Because she let herself hope. Let herself be swept away in the fantasy. Because in the fantasy the lead role thrust upon her, it made her joyous. Joyous but forgetful as it would seem she’d forgotten her struggles all together until she came tumbling down again.

How does she put a stop to this, she knows not. It’s too late to look for that person, yet never to late to learn from her past endeavours, that she’ll never come first. All she needs to do is stop living in the illusion, to open her eyes and accept reality.

That’s all anyone can do in life, really.

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