As Darkness Sets In.

I tried my hand at writing a James and Lily Potter one shot. It’s my first so please be patient and bear with me. Reviews and comments will be greatly appreciated. Happy reading! 🙂

Lily sat on the window pane of a deserted 4th floor corridor just looking at the sun set. The vibrant shades of red of the setting sun had always made a calm settle in on her. But not today. Today there was nothing that was helping her uneasiness and her moodiness. If at all, the setting day was only darkening her already dark mood growing since last night. She was tired of it all. She was tired of the games they were playing.

“Not once, not once she thought miserably, has he asked me out this year.”

It was true that they hadn’t had any of their normal screaming matches but it almost felt like he put on a facade for her. Friendly but distant and guarded. Always guarded. She could see the marked difference in the way he was when he was with the other marauders and when he was with her. The more she sat and thought about it the more angry she became. “How dare he! How dare that arrogant prat, after harassing me all this time for one date, only to make me fall for him, act all distant and cold?! It would be just like him to have planned for this. Make me fall for him only to harshly reject me just like the countless times I had done to him.”

She felt one angry tear get away and fall down her left cheek and this only served to make her more angry. Angry at him, angry at herself for falling the the git, angry at the universe. It was so frustrating to see him really laugh and smile with that wretched harlot Judy and only get a nonchalant ‘Hey Lily’ from him. And yet she had never felt closer to him. All that time they spent together patrolling the corridors, coming up with the prefect duty schedules, planning Hogsmeade trips, decorating the Great Hall for Halloween. Lily closed her eyes to try and stop the barrage of memories of all the time she’d spent with him. And yet even through all her misery and frustration she was afraid to take the first step. To just walk up to him and tell him that she likes him. He had finally succeeded in making her fall for him. However her fear of rejection was too great to overcome. “And I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be courageous” she thought with a shake of her head.

“Lily?” came a deep male voice which made shivers run down her back. She swiveled around at the sound of his voice. “Of course the one time I’m not looking for him and want to be alone he would find me” she thought.
“You know they say that talking aloud to oneself  is the first sign of insanity.” He had that annoying, one sided smirk firmly  in place which made her want to slap it right off his face. Or maybe kiss it right off his face.

“Oh stop it Lily. We’ve already established that he doesn’t like you or care about you anymore” her conscience told her. But she still was unable to prevent her heart from beating rapidly in her chest.

“What do you want James? I’m really not in the mood to talk right now.” Or be anywhere around you.
James frowned. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You disappeared straight after dinner and you were nowhere to be found.”
“I’m fine.” She was very curt. Hurt flashed in his eyes but lily who had already turned back missed it. “You should probably be on your way. You wouldn’t want to keep Judy waiting” she said bitterly. He stiffened at that. “If you must know I was on my way to the kitchens for a snack. But you know what, maybe I will meet Judy. At least she wouldn’t be outright rude and snarky when someone was expressing concern for her.” With that he turned and he was gone.
Lily, her mouth open still kept staring at the place he had disappeared. That was the first time in all the seven years they had known each other that James had actually snapped back at her. “Arrgh! What have I done?” she whispered to the walls around her.

XXXX

James was leaning against the wall with his hand covering his face. Why was it so difficult for them to have a normal conversation. He’d done all that he could with the hopes of at least being friends with her. He’d stopped asking her out and he’d stopped teasing her. He made sure that he was always polite to her. And yet she still seemed to regard him as the same annoying prat he was back in fifth year. And every time the pain was equally piercing. He always hoped that it would hurt less as time passed but it never did. If anything, it just gets sharper and sharper. “I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much and she’s never going to give us a chance James, get it through your head. I have to try to get over her.”

“Just one more day. I’ll feel miserable for myself for one more day and tomorrow when  wake up I’ll do everything that I have to to get over her and move on.” He stayed leaning against the wall for one more minute. He straightened up and slowly made his way back to the dorm to wash away all the memories and hopes he had built up through the years.

If only the two of them could see the other, if only they were both not blinded, ironically, by love to see how much the other feels for them. If only.

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