‘A great source of calamity lies in regret and anticipation; therefore a person is wise who thinks of the present alone, regardless of the past or future. ‘ – Oliver Goldsmith.
Regret. That one emotion which to me is unbearably painful. Regret and guilt go hand in hand. And that is not something anyone would want to go through. Yet there are so many things that we do end up regretting.
‘If only I’d pushed myself a little harder maybe I could’ve won the gold. If only I had studied for two more hours everyday I would’ve made the cut. If only I had thought before I said those harsh words I wouldn’t have hurt her so deeply. If only I had tried to communicate a bit more I may have been able to salvage our broken relationship. If only I had been strong enough to resist the temptation of his alluring charm I may not have lost the love of my life. If only I had forgotten my pride and apologized before he breathed his last.’
We all have regrets in our life. It comes with being human. To err is human and when we make mistakes we regret them ever happening. But part of being human is that we live in the present. We don’t think of the consequences our actions may have in the future. Quoting Dumbledore – “The consequences of our actions are so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed.” And that would be why at some point in the future that feeling of regret eats away at us for our past actions.
Yes it can leave us quite bitter but looking back even though certain events caused us to regret them there would be something about it that made you smile. Through that haze of anger and bitterness and melancholy those precious little moments can be like the light of life, giving you warmth, allowing you to look past that dark haze. Those are the moments you should hold onto like a life belt. For the rest of your life.
Because life comes with its ups and downs. What makes all the difference is the choices we make. We can choose to focus on the bitterness or we could choose to focus on those little moments that made you joyous and merry. And that will make all the difference. That will enable you to move on with a smile on your face.
It’s good to get crossed in love now and then. What we can take away from it are the moments that made you laugh your heart out, made you smirk. Made you give that shy bashful smile. And you can learn from your experience so as to not make that mistake again. Make new mistakes instead. So why waste your time on the painful, bitter and angst-y memories when you can focus on the good things.
Take pleasure in the small things in life. Never regret anything that ever made you smile because there was some magic about it that got you to smile in the first place.